I need to sleep. I feel a little better. I finally mailed out a commission package this morning, went to the zoo to get some fresh air, sunlight, and enjoy the animals (and hate hate hate hate hate rude parents in hordes who block areas as if having shitty screaming obnoxious children gives them some pass to own the place)…the maned wolves were active, though, and a galah kept saying, “Hi!” in such a pretty voice. :D

Plans for when I wake up:

- Work on this owl commission.
- Drink water.
- Regular animal stuff (cleaning litter boxes/hay pans, feeding, fresh water, et cetera).
- Try to signal boost my commissions and attempt to get back on track with making stock for conventions.

…I feel like I might be asking a little much from myself on that last one. Maybe just signal boost. I’m not sure anymore. I have to keep trying. I really want a dog, and I need to start setting aside money for Christmas presents. There are a lot of friends whose gifts I haven’t sent, as well, who deserve to finally see their packages in the mail this season. :C

Today: Mercedes brings chewed/dead cricket upstairs and eats it in front of us. (ewwwww.)

Yesterday: several cricket legs found in the dining room. Then my dad comes upstairs and jokingly says, “You need to talk to your cat about eating all of her cricket parts…” It turns out the basement is full of dead crickets.

Day before: live cricket in the living room, Mercedes snaps it to pieces, my brother picks them up.

I really, really don’t like this time of year. Or crickets. Or my cats’ interest in leaving their parts around the house, much as I appreciate my little hunters.

Give me spiders. I can handle spiders.

As soon as everyone gets here
B)

thegestianpoet:

stopitsgingertime:

MY ALARM GOES OFF SO I ROLL OVER AND CHECK MY PHONE AND MY AMERICAN GODS GOOGLE ALERT HAS DELIVERED THIS BOUNTY UNTO ME????????

AM I STILL FUCKING DREAMING, I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER SEE THE GODDAMN DAY, BRYAN FULLER YOU ARE MAKING MY WILDEST DREAMS COME TRUE ONE CARNIVOROUS VAGINA AT A TIME

I don’t even know shit about American Gods but both of these headlines are GOLD

Operation Get A Dog:

Break into local shelters and take all the dogs

AH YEAH WHO IS WITH ME

penstab:

THIS CHILD

penstab:

THIS CHILD

I need to motivate myself. Between depression, this horrid cough, and my body being in intense pain in several areas, I’ve just been sleeping or loafing. The most energy I’ve spent was letting the rabbit run around and getting his food prepared.

I feel like my entire body is getting punched repeatedly, in that deep, bruising way. And stuff touching my skin hurts so bad, and has for days. (I want to cut my hair, ‘cos my scalp feels like it’s being yanked.) I hate my body.

usedempyrealthunder:

So I was talking about consent with Lyra earlier and finally found a way to put into words how I feel about it, more or less.

Consent isn’t something that’s in your way to access something (sex, but other forms of intimacy too, including kink, and relationships in general. Consent isn’t just about sex). It’s not a barrier you have to remove or get past to get to the goods. If you’re seeing someone’s ability to consent (or not consent) as an obstacle, there’s a good chance you’re already on the edge of abuse.

Consent is a foundation.

You’re building a house with someone. That house can be sex, it can be kink, it can be other kinds of intimacy, or relationships. But let’s focus on sex for now.

Sex is something you do with two people (or more). You’re building something with them. Consent is the foundation on which you build.

If you don’t have it, then your house collapses. It’s not sex, it’s rape. All you’ll get is a pile of rubble. If someone consented but then feels too uncomfortable and retracts that consent, if you stop then what you built is still there. It’s still strong. But if you keep going without their consent, you’re building on foundations that aren’t stable anymore, and things will eventually collapse too. And you sapped them yourself. If you pressure someone into sex with you and they’re unsure or uncomfortable, your foundations are unstable and will gradually bring your house down, too, because you didn’t take the time to build solid foundations through open communication.

And you can desire someone, you can be excited about building that house even when you haven’t built those foundations yet. It doesn’t make you an asshole. You can also, through communication, teach each other the skills you need so you can build said foundations, because not everyone was raised by good bricklayers. You can research, you can teach each other. Sometimes people have spent time in broken down houses so they’re extra scared of having the roof fall over their heads again, and it takes longer to make those foundations really stable.

Consent is a base, and it’s something you build. It’s absolutely necessary, but it’s not something isolated from the act, not something you need to get past. It’s integral to any intimacy, and it’s just as exciting. “They said yes so I can finally have what I want” is the bare fucking minimum. It’s barely consent at all.

Build your foundations.

The dog I’ve been wanting was adopted…

…And then I realize I have no names for these kids in this fic. What would Alvin and Jude name their brats? siiigh.

…and now I’m going to either sleep again or curl up in 500 blankets and play Xillia and drink tea, because editing gross writing is gross and my body hurts everywhere.

Since I’m tired and feel ill and am not in a mind to stop myself, I’ll post several of the older oneshots I have of Basil and Cassidy…

->

With our chests touching, I could feel the rise and fall accompanying Basil’s rapid heartbeats. My ears were warm from his breath as he grunted. He applied more pressure against my torso, pinning me against the wall.

This show of dominance only made me hard.

Read More

That said, funny how I get thoughts about my original stories but can’t seem to convince myself they’re worth writing. So I don’t, and I haven’t been.

I’m actually attempting to talk about them more, but it makes me feel sick and anxious and stupid.

How do you convince yourself to keep your chin up and keep writing in a world that doesn’t want you?

Since talking about ties and teasing and bondage and other BDSM activities in a fluffy manner, I’ve got visions in my head of Basil and Cassidy being stupid adorable idiots and I want to write them.

I can’t even finish the main story, but I have no shortage of oneshots where they are being idiots who love 3 mile long beach walks, their black cat, seashell collecting, local mythological creature folklore, and scarf/belt/tie bondage accompanied by fierce impact play.

future fandom: they’re just friends

current and future me: what fandom, I went to the grave an unknown unimportant jackass

But the Shinrabanshou is mine.
Even if it resides inside it, its power isn't yours to use!